I found out along the way that there are a lot of psychological tactics that do not work, and boy did I pay for them the hard way. You can avoid the mistakes I made by following a few tips.

The first thing I realized was that I had to make the first text count. I cannot stress enough how lame it feels to not get a text back because I came across as a chump. I now try to create a sense of excitement by blending several things when first contacting a woman.

The first message you send off shouldn’t just be one word or a greeting; make it a meaningful sentence but not a cheesy pick up line. Seducing girls by texting will never work if you sound boring. (Well, I can think of one exception. I met this nerdy girl that liked comic books and video games, and my inept, boring texts actually worked great. That is, until I didn’t like Neil Gaiman as much as she did. But I digress.)

The second thing I must emphasize is that your texting must contain an element of flirting. I try to be playful and fun with the object of my affection and it rarely fails these days. I also make it an objective to appear a bit mysterious and come off as way busier than I really am. For some reason, pushing back a little works well and makes them respond much more. Give them a little drama.

I also learned that it’s never a good idea to ask a girl out directly via text message. Use your texting for building attraction and interest, but when it comes to asking her out, do it over the phone or in person. I’m not really sure why this is, but if I had to guess, asking a girl out via text just comes off as wimpy. Be a man and pick up the phone.

Keep in mind that getting good at this is not an overnight project. Seducing girls by texting is going to take some practice and will require some self-confidence. Be bold with your texts and let her realize that you’re for real. Don’t be timid, but also avoid being pushy. It’s OK to be daring and say stuff that’s off the wall, as long as it is sincere. Being flashy or overly cocky will not work. You need to walk that fine line in the middle.

Oh, and women respond well to texting when there is a hint of naughtiness. But not too much! You will have to experiment and calibrate with this. One of my favorite things is to text something that could have a straightforward meaning or could be highly suggestive. Keep her guessing and you will keep her texting!

After you have been leaving comments, consider issuing a Facebook poke. A great step to follow in regards to helping you flirt and seduce on Facebook is to offer a friendly poke. This could lead to more flirting and eventually chatting.

A key to flirting and seducing on Facebook is to chat when the mood strikes. Chatting is a way to connect with someone you’re interested in and to deepen a casual friendship. At this stage, treat chatting like any other communication method. Just make sure that you aren’t overconfident or pushy. Remember, you’re flirting and doing that right with a sense of sincerity will allow you to seduce the object of your affection with relative ease.

I have found a lot of success with flirting on Facebook and have ended up meeting several people in real life. However, I was careful not to rush things or make it seem like I was desperate. I continued living my life in a normal fashion, and made sure to stay involved with the website, but not to the point where I was on there 18 hours a day. I have noticed that flirting led to chatting, chatting led to meeting, and then seducing was the next logical step. When the chemistry is right, things move forward swiftly and I’ve found that spending a night alone is only reserved for when I don’t feel like going out.

Another key way in learning how to flirt and seduce online is to build a good relationship with your friends and neighbors on Facebook by commenting on photos. Furthermore, make sure you upload photos as well. One of the best ways to make sure that no one pegs you as a weirdo is to upload clear, focused photos. I try not to cluster a lot of photos that could come across as “weird”. Make it seem like you’re enjoying life.

Oh, and remember this important key point, never put a photo up of you and your ex or your current flame. Be careful with this, and be careful when tagging photos of ex-girlfriends on Facebook too. You’ll find that this can backfire fast, and I have made this mistake before. I tend to put up photos with friends, not photos of me and any girl that I’ve liked in the past. If someone else puts up a photo of me or tags me in a photo, there’s not much I can do, but for my personal profile, I have control and try not to make my connections paint me in a bad light.

Confidence is key when you try to pickup women online. Overconfidence can sink you, but when you are sincere and highlight the positive aspects of your personality, you’ll find that you stand a decent chance to win over a woman online. The reason why this has worked in my experience is simply because most women online have been hit on constantly by men who are either obsessed with sex or so outgoing that it makes them nervous. Remember, there are a lot of weirdos online, and as soon as a woman thinks you’re weird, you’re finished. Even if all you’re after is a quick roll in the sack, you need to disguise that aspect.

Another way to pickup women online is to avoid asking a woman out until after five or six emails. That’s right, you have to wait. There has been only one time where I managed to meet a woman online by asking her out prematurely, but that was only because within two emails there was an obvious chemistry that couldn’t be denied. It worked once, I then got a little overconfident and tried it again, and it failed. Not all women will respond well to meeting right away, there are just too many horror stories that stem from that. However, if she makes the first move, the whole game changes.

Yes, if she asks to meet, maybe it’s in the cards. However, be wary, there are some seriously psycho women out there! I once agreed to meet a girl at a bar, and it turned out that she was certifiably insane and had too many issues to overlook. She ended up calling me often and annoying me for a long time. I eventually had to change my cell phone number and since then I’ve managed to be a little more cautious before meeting any woman.

Remember, when you pickup women online, you need to be selective. Take your time if you aren’t feeling the chemistry, and never act desperate. You hold a lot of control over the situation, so make sure you’re levelheaded when acting upon any desire.

Good luck out there!

Normally, I would agree with Mr. De Vries, but when it comes to furthering my game, there are a few lists that I don’t mind keeping, and a few stories that I don’t mind writing down.

I believe the following paperwork is essential:

Routine Stack – The PUA’s cheat sheet.

A simple list with your favorite threads, canned material, and topics, should be kept on you at all times. My routine stack is a 3×5 note card divided up into four sections: Openers, Attraction, Qualification, & Comfort, with each section listing a few of my go-to bits.

Occasionally, I whip out my routine stack before my first set to refresh my memory or compose my game plan. However, I find it most helpful mid-set. Sometimes, I like to take a break from my target to check the score and to plan my next move. I excuse myself to go to the restroom and once there I refer to my routine stack and think: “Where am I? Where do I need to go? What should I do to get there?”

Game Log -Your little black book would look like this if it were maintained by a horny CPA.

I keep an excel spreadsheet to record pertinent information regarding any girl that I closed.

Sections of my Game Log:

• Date
• Name
• Age
• Location – list all locations during the pick up
• Number – not her phone number, i.e. “She was a solid 8”
• Close – #, kiss, full, etc.
• Contact – phone number, email, etc.
• Opener/Threads/Gambits – list your opener, and then all canned material and routines used.
• Convo – What you really talked about. Comfort, etc.
• Misc. – Any other details, such as what she was wearing or what her friend’s names were. I like to update this section with notes on how the phone/text game interactions have been going leading up to the next time we see each other.

Reviewing this log before the next time I see a girl keeps me from repeating myself. Also, it allows me to make references to specific topics of conversation discussed during our last encounter, giving the impression that I am a great listener with a superb memory.

Day 2 Options – You’re the most fun person I’ve ever met!

Keep a list of all museums, attractions, cool restaurants/bars, parks, hikes, and things to do. Next to each I write their locations, hours of operation, and cost. This simple list helps you lead your target on an endless amount of original adventures, allowing you to stand out from the crowd as well as avoid the whole “What is there to do?” day 2 killer.

Journal – An informal collection of your thoughts and experiences.

There are a lot of things that won’t fit or translate well into the boxes on your Game Log: great jokes, tall tales, and memories from your nights out worth writing down. A journal allows you to reflect upon an earlier state and chart your progression. I like to write down my sticking points and then look back and take notice as I successfully conqueror them.

I also think it is vital to debrief yourself after every encounter. A lot of times this happens instantly while you’re still out sarging. You’ll diagnose the situation and think “Damn, I should have escalated more!” or “I didn’t lock in, that’s where I blew it.” But soon after the interaction I like to write down some key points:

• What happened
• What I did right
• What I did wrong
• What I should have done

After all, having experience is only worth something if you learn from your mistakes.

Okay, that’s it. Simple, right? So take off those torn jeans and smoky jacket and put on your Dockers and whitest white collar shirt. You’ve got some writing to do.

One way that we often communicate value is by entertaining. Instant Value Demonstrations (IVDs) can be as good as gold, and the saying that laughter is the key to a woman’s heart couldn’t be more true. But can too much of a good thing be bad?

In everything we do in life, avoiding polarities and finding Goldilocks’ happy place in the middle is the ultimate goal. Not too hot, not too cold. You don’t want to be the nice guy who lets people walk all over him but you don’t want to be the bad guy/cocky asshole who brags about himself, needs constant attention, and abuses women. You don’t want to be too scared to go for the first kiss but you equally don’t want to come across as a horny predator. You want to be able to entertain women, but you don’t want to become an object for their entertainment.

To further underline the issue of polarity, consider the following:

There are three main areas to every pick up: Emotional, Physical, and Logistical.

Your goal is to escalate all three equally and effectively; ignore or overdo any of them and the entire interaction will crumble.

• If you ignore Emotional progression then you’ll never make a connection with your target and she’ll never see you as anything more than a stranger.
• If you ignore Physical escalation you’ll fall into the dreaded friend zone.
• If you ignore the Logistical issues you’ll see her jump into a cab with her friends at the end of the night or find yourself stranded without a seduction location.

Likewise,

• If you overdo Emotional stimulation of some kind then you’ll get trapped into that role. For example, if you spend all your time in deep comfort then you’ll be seen as her personal therapist.
• If you overdo Physical escalation you’ll be the weird touchy creepy guy.
• If you are constantly trying to figure out Logistical problems, suggesting bounces, putting together parties, and asking “how’d you get here?” then you’ll become the “party guy”. The one girls call to find out what’s going on, but not the one they hook up with once they get there.

As you can see, over or under doing anything in pick up can be costly. One of the most common forms of indulgence during the seduction process must surely be the Dancing Monkey.

IVDs are amazing, I use them whenever I can, and comedy is the main component of my personal style. However, these two tools (both are forms of entertainment) can easily backfire. I’ve personally made the mistake of playing too many games with a woman or telling too many funny stories, thus ignoring opportunities to physically escalate, qualify, or build comfort. I’ve been the Dancing Monkey before and trust me, it’s fun but it’s not productive.

When you become the Dancing Monkey you are no longer seen as a viable mate. Instead, you are there for her amusement, you are nothing more than personal entertainment to her.

One of the quickest ways to determine that you might be heading towards Monkeytown is if she says things like “do another one!”, “what other games do you know?”, “you have to show that trick to my friend!”, or if she introduces you to someone and then adds “he’s so funny!” These are clues that although you offered value, offering more of the same kind of value could be too much of a good thing.

So stop. Just like a magician never does the same trick twice, just like a comedian only tells a bit once: don’t let her control the interaction, don’t jump through her hoops. Transition into another form of value demonstration, or if the time is right, into another phase of the pick up.  After being told to “do another one!” I’ve literally said: “I’m not a dancing monkey, you show me something! (Qualification).” Obviously, this doesn’t mean that you should never tell her another funny story or play another fun game with her; it just means that a break is necessary.

Remember, you’re there to offer value, and value comes in many flavors:

“Ahhh, this porridge is just right,” she said happily and she ate it all up.

The day after my Kindle arrived in the mail, I left for a four-day pleasure trip to Las Vegas. As I took my seat in the plane, I smiled at the nice-looking young woman sitting beside me, already planning a clever opener for a couple minutes later, once we were both settled. I never got the chance. As I removed the Kindle from my backpack, intending to slip it into the seat pocket in front of me, this happened:

HBCurious: “Oooh, is that the new Kindle?”
Hero: “Yeah, I just got it yesterday and I’ve already loaded it up with some cool stuff.”
HBCurious: “Can I see it?”
Hero: (playfully mistrustful) “Well… OK, but don’t break it, you look a little like a klutz.”
HBCurious: (with a devilish smile) “I do not! You’re just teasing me. Wow! It’s so light. Show me how it works…”

We proceeded to have a friendly, flirty conversation for the duration of the flight. Turns out she was joining some girlfriends there for a bachelorette party. We exchanged numbers and later made arrangements to meet again. Without disclosing any more details, I’ll just say that my Las Vegas trip turned out to be more of a pleasure trip than I originally planned!

Now fast forward to the end of the trip, when I am sitting at the airport gate waiting to board the return flight. I have my Kindle out, working my way through a new business book I’d been meaning to read for a long time. A woman in her 30s, easy on the eyes, walks right over to me and asks if she can hold it and see how it feels. I oblige and she proceeds to pepper me with a dozen more questions about the technical aspects of the device and my overall rating of its service.

Finally liberated from her interrogation, I take my seat in the plane and continue my reading. My seatmate eventually arrives – a gorgeous 19-year-old girl studying to become a paralegal. Once more, I didn’t even need to turn on the charm:

HBParalegal: “Oh my gawd, is that the new Amazon reader!?”
Hero: “Yes, pretty cool, huh?”
HBParalegal: “It’s so small! Can I check it out?”
Hero: “Well, OK… but I really didn’t want you to see all the porn I loaded onto it.”
HBParalegal: (laughing and looking me right in the eyes) “That’s OK, I like porn too.”

A nice conversation, a little kino, and a number close.

My advice to those of you who are struggling with your openers and need a little help: don’t get a dog, get a Kindle!  It doesn’t pee or chew up the furniture and is probably less expensive in the long run.

Just don’t plan on getting much reading done outside the house.

The more you game, the more rejections and blowouts you’ll have. It’s an inherent fact that even as you progress in developing this skill set you’re never going to bat a thousand.

Firstly, it is important to remember that showing an extreme emotional reaction to something is beta. Nothing is a big deal in the world of pick up, so short of some major catastrophe, nothing that we experience in set should warrant a large emotional swing. However, there are times where not even the slightest emotional reaction can happen, and when the smooch doesn’t go quite to plan is a perfect example of one.

If your kiss attempt fails, the first thing to do is: nothing. Pretend like nothing happened and plow onward with the pick up. Barrage her conscious mind with anything to keep her from focusing on what could have been a long awkward moment. Basically, if you act like it isn’t a big deal, it won’t be a big deal.

The mistake that most people make is that they associate a failed kiss attempt with being low value but it is actually the complete opposite. If you don’t show an emotional reaction to what just happened, then that must mean that you are comfortable despite what occurred. Thus, she will infer that if you are comfortable with not getting a kiss from her, then you must be used to kissing girls because most guys would not handle a rejected kiss in the same manner.

Take the example of a man living on a deserted island surrounded by waters abundant with fish. He goes out everyday and although he doesn’t spear every fish he sees, there are so many fish out there that he never fails to eat well. Now, another man on a different deserted island is surrounded by waters all but empty of fish. One day he manages to finally spot a fish close to shore but botches the attempt to spear it. Obviously the second man is going to freak out when he fails to spear the only fish he has seen in months.

If handled correctly, a failed kiss attempt automatically flicks the preselection attraction switch. Furthermore, it highlights the qualities of confidence and being a leader. Nothing is worse than being the guy who doesn’t make the move, doesn’t…well…be a man. Attempting to physically escalate is far better than to play it safe all night. The latter will get you trapped in the friend zone or blown out entirely.

NEVER apologize for what just happened and absolutely never try to convince her to kiss you. Physical compliance is not something that you can convince a girl to do through the use of logic and reason.

An IOD can be used immediately to punish the lack of compliance. After recovering from the initial rejection, continue to build attraction because any failed compliance attempt just means that you’re not there yet. Stack forward, take a step back physically, and then reescalate as you begin receiving more IOIs from her.

A basic example of how the conversation might play out:

Renaissance: “I can’t even focus right now, I just want to kiss you so bad” (moves in for kiss)

HB: (turning head) “I can’t kiss you! We just met!”

Renaissance: “Yeah you’re right, we’d never work out anyway, you’re way too much of a control freak.(IOD) Oh my god, you wont believe what happened to me today…(DHV story).”

- Renaissance

I believe there are three main principles in pick-up, three underlying themes that one should never lose sight of:

1. This is about so much more than girls; this is about changing your entire life.
2. I am the prize.
3. Leave her better than you found her.

You’ll notice that even though we all got into this pastime to improve our sex lives, none of the central themes are focused on that specific matter. The amazing thing is that if one adheres to these three key points, a healthy sex life will surely be a byproduct.

This is about changing your life.

One of the main ways that we build attraction is through the use of Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs) in our storytelling. We pepper our stories with phrases designed to hit a woman’s attraction switches and there’s nothing wrong with that. But, just whose stories are you telling? Canned material should be thought of as training wheels to the emerging student. It will help you learn the concept of storytelling but should be seen as something as a temporary tool rather than a long term fixture of your game.

True, through the use of canned material and catchy, mind-blowing gambits you can seduce a woman. The real challenge, however, is not whether you can get a girl to sleep with you, but rather if you can keep her. Any girl worth gaming and worth sleeping with surely should be worth sleeping with again. But short of you being the best thing she’s ever had in bed, a woman is not going to become a part of your life if you are not worthy of her investment.

Ultimately, if all of this learned material is not congruent with your lifestyle, then your game is more smoke and mirrors than anything else. Go out there and live an interesting life. Change everything you are not content with. If you hate your job, yes, I’m advocating that you quit it and pursue something you truly care about. Get busy, load up your schedule with activities and hobbies and don’t slow down. Create a lifestyle (monetary wealth is not the most important thing here) that a woman would want to be a part of, because in the end you need to be able to bring her into your reality.

Furthermore, your interactions with everyone will improve as you continue to master this art. Your relationships with coworkers, social acquaintances, and family members will all become stronger and more positive. You will notice tremendous changes in how all others, not just beautiful women, perceive you.

I am the prize.

When I approach a woman that I have never met, I don’t award her any points or give her an immediate pass into my life. Just because she was fortunate enough to win the “gene pool lottery” doesn’t mean that we as men should automatically see her as high value.

She must earn my respect and prove that she has value. I know who I am, I know why people like me, and why I consider myself to have value but for all I know she could turn out to be a beautiful serial killer or gold digger. The entire Qualification Phase of the Mystery Method is built around this principle and this kind of mentality ultimately translates into “I am the prize.”

If you don’t believe that you deserve the girl you are gaming, you will subconsciously communicate this to your target and she will pick up on this DLV. With strong enough outer game, you may get away with not having a strong inner game a few times, but again, acting like you are worthy of someone that you yourself don’t truly believe you are will ruin any chances of keeping that person in your life.

Leave her better than you found her.

Regardless of how a pick-up goes, whether it ends in a blowout, self ejection, or some sort of close: your overall goal is to always offer value. We never want a person’s life to be worse off because of their interaction with us. Similarly, we never want someone to think of us as anything but in a positive (or worst case impartial/neutral) way.

Even if the set is rude to you and you get blown out in a nasty way, do not drop down to their level and become a smaller person by insulting them. Simply say something like “I guess you guys are too wild for me tonight. It was cool meeting you, I’m gonna get back to my friends.” Not only will your night not get ruined by bar fights and other unnecessary drama but this style of conflict resolution is 100% in line with the fundamentals of being a high value alpha male.

Showing an extreme emotional reaction to something is a sign of low value. For example, when Brad Pitt sees a beautiful woman he doesn’t flinch. And if that beautiful woman tells him to piss off, I highly doubt he’d turn into an asshole about it. He’s Brad fucking Pitt, you can be sure that he doesn’t let himself become emotionally invested in situations that have such minuscule implications on his life as a whole.

In conclusion, don’t forget this principle after the initial pick-up. Whether she goes on to become your girlfriend of five years or just an occasional hookup, you should always be seeking to make her life better.

You have undoubtedly heard it a thousand times: women like the bad boys. According to many, guys who tend to be self-centered jerks have more success with women than the so-called “good boys.” The analysis holds that women are somehow attracted to those who exude a sense of danger and who are traditionally masculine in their personality and behavior. These aggressive “alpha males,” so the story goes, are far more likely to have success with women because their dispositions are particularly appealing.

This belief, however, suffers from a fundamental misunderstanding of why these “bad boys” tend to have so much success with women. It is not their loutish behavior or cavalier attitude women find exciting and interesting. In fact, these character traits are widely abhorred by women. The “alpha male” behavior held up as something to model by some would-be seduction experts is not the reason for “bad boy” success. In fact, these men actually succeed in spite of their behaviors and personality—not because of them.

The reason the “bad boy” gets the girl so often is related to ancillary behavior associated with their mindset. Put simply, the so-called “bad boy” tends to be outgoing and somewhat aggressive. These men are not afraid to approach women or to make the first move. Their self-assuredness leads them to take risks many other men would not. “Bad boys” get the girls because they are more likely to be the only men approaching them in the first place.

If a woman had the opportunity to choose from the loutish brute and the nice gentleman as both approached her, she would undoubtedly choose the nice guy, not the jerk. There is nothing associated with the “bad boy” mentality that women find uniquely attractive. They merely end up with these people because other alternatives fail to present themselves. If more of the “nice guys” were sufficiently outgoing to approach women, the myth of the “bad boy” would be so laughable that no one would embrace it.

What does this teach us about seduction? It tells us that women are receptive to men who are willing to approach them and to express an interest. That is what has made so many otherwise reprehensible men successful with the ladies—their willingness to risk rejection and to “put themselves out there.”

By modeling this particular aspect of “bad boy” behavior, other men can have an equally successful time seducing attractive women. Regular guys simply need to come to terms with their shyness and lack of self-confidence. If they do this, they will soon find themselves more successful with women than even the baddest of the “bad boys.”

Those who have believed the myth and have acted upon the recommendations of others who accept it as the gospel truth of seduction are doing themselves and women a great disservice. By basically modeling the behavior of jerks, they may find themselves experiencing an increased level of seduction success over their former selves. However, they are still performing at a level far inferior to what they would be if they had simply focused their efforts on being more comfortable approaching women and had not adopted the other negatives of the “bad boy” angle.

If you have believed the “bad boy” story and have accepted it as a launching pad for your seduction efforts, it is time to rethink your strategy. It is perfectly okay to be a nice guy. In fact, women prefer a nicer man almost without exception. You don’t need to be a jerk to get the girls—you need only to be more extroverted and willing to approach the women in whom you have a strong interest. Leo Durocher said that “nice guys finish last.” He may have been right when it came to baseball, but he was way off base when it comes to women. Those who have combined being decent human beings with being willing to approach women can definitely vouch for that.

Regardless of the situation at hand, all great stories share the same requirements:

• No matter the length of the story, it can be summarized in one sentence.

Every movie ever produced has what is called a “logline”, a one or two sentence description of the entire screenplay. No matter how complicated the plot may be every story has a logline:

“Just before the outbreak of World War II, an adventuring archaeologist named Indiana Jones races around the globe to single-handedly prevent the Nazis from turning the greatest archaeological relic of all time into a weapon of world conquest.” –Raiders of the Lost Ark

You need to be able to summarize your stories into so-called loglines. By stripping away all the fluff and revealing the barebones skeleton of a story, you will be prevented from straying off topic with speech that is not relative or useful. Rambling/getting sidetracked is one of the great pitfalls of storytelling.

• The purpose for telling the story, as well as the desired result, is clear.

What do I want her to do / think? What story can I tell that will achieve that purpose? This is the correct logic that should be behind your story selections. Yet, it seems that most men just seem to be telling stories for the sake of talking.

This concept clearly fits into the world of pick up and the associated Mystery Method. If you are in the early stages of the pick up and your target is not attracted to you yet, then your story must have DHVs and hit attraction switches, with the goal of soliciting an IOI from her.

If you are developing comfort with a woman then the goal of your story might be to show her that you are a real person and not some invincible superman. A story that sheds some light on a difficult period of your life and displays some vulnerability may be the way to go.

• There is a beginning, middle, and usually an end.

Pull people into your story with the setup, what was going on in your life at the start of the story? Where did it take place and who was there? The middle of the story will usually contain the conflict, problem, and most of the action. Finally, how did everything turn out? These 3 sections are necessary to convey a higher meaning or theme with your story.

You might not need a resolution to your story in some situations. It can often be beneficial to stop halfway through a story or at a hook point and say something like “Can you believe that?!” or “What would you have done?!” and see where she takes it. This is a technique that I use for compliance testing, i.e. how interested in you she is at that given moment.  Based upon the outcome of this compliance test, you can decide whether to come back to the story or cut the thread and stack forward to another piece (multiple thread theory).

• There is conflict.

Conflict is necessary to every story because life is about conflict. Without conflict there can be no plot and thus there can be no story, only statements.

Furthermore, when telling a story to a woman we need to focus less on the technical aspects and details, and more on the emotional points of the event. What you saw, how the air smelt, what you sensed, and most importantly: how you felt. Sensory descriptors should be peppered in liberally when talking to women and these will really highlight and drive home the conflict in the story.  For example:

“This guy came up to me and just started break dancing in front of me.” – This is a statement, and is not very useful to the PUA.

Vs.

“Do you ever get that feeling that someone is watching you? I was hanging out with my friends and we were having a great time and then suddenly I started to feel these eyes on me, like burning a hole in me. So I look across the bar and there is this guy, kind of pale and sickly looking, he was wearing this white fedora and a big black boa, and he’s just staring right at me. I’m thinking “WTF? Do I know this guy?” So he starts walking up to me and I know this is not going to go well. He gets pretty close to me and is still locked on my eyes and then he just starts break dancing! I felt so relieved and kinda flattered actually, although I don’t know if he was hitting on me or trying to break dance fight.”

The latter example clearly uses sensory descriptors as a vessel to really drive home the conflict and pull our audience into our reality.

• They are delivered congruently with their purpose and theme.

There is no better judge of character or social aptitude than a woman. The repercussions for a woman investing herself physically with the wrong man can be enormous, and as a result women have developed a supreme sense of social awareness and judgment of character.

Many men have read a cool thread or gambit online and then tried it in person and the woman has called them out on it: “Did this really happen?”, “You’re making this up!” These kinds of statements only happen when you are not congruent. If your body language, tonality, frame, and delivery are congruent with the story you are telling there is no reason that anyone should ever question your story’s validity.

The best way to be congruent is to avoid canned material that didn’t actually happen to you. Rely less on things that happened to someone else and write stories about your own experiences. You can certainly embellish them a little bit, things that happened a year ago can be said to have “just” happened; but ultimately, effective storytelling should not be confused with being a good liar.

Take care,

Renaissance

Regardless of how and why someone has chosen to embark upon this life-changing journey, one thing is for sure: Information Overload. Not sure where to start? It’s okay, take a deep breath and relax as you take your First Step into the world of pick up.

Seduction, Game, Pick Up, or whatever you want to call it, is just like any other trade or art form. There is an endless amount of knowledge and no one can ever stop learning or progressing. Also, the more you put in, the more you will receive. There’s no gimmick here, no magic pick up line that will drive women into your arms. This art is a demanding process and what you get out of it is directly proportional to how hard you work.

There are plenty of “newbie missions” out there, each focusing on conquering a specific objective: Open 100 sets in a single week to get over your approach anxiety (AA). Makeover tips and wardrobe shopping spree advice. Oh, and of course, the plethora of must-read books and canned material to memorize.

This First Step combines everything I feel is important to get the ball rolling, not just a single facet of game, into one simple outline. There is no concrete timeline for competing this process, but realistically if you are serious about this then the whole process should be achieved in anywhere from a week to a month. The reason I don’t like to put deadlines or schedules on this sort of thing is because everyone’s agenda is different. If you work hard everyday and lead a busy and productive life, then being able to devote even just one hour a day to this might be a huge sacrifice. The underlying point is that this is something you’ve decided to do in the interest of self-betterment, so the only motivation you should need is: yourself.

Ok, so I lied. It’s not one step, technically there are five. They are in no particular order, and one can be working on several of these at the same time.

1. Image – Regardless of your physical looks, anyone can have success with women of beauty. That, however, does not mean that there is not something to be said about keeping up appearances. You need to accomplish a couple key points:

• Look your best.
• Stand out from the competition.

You might need a new hairstyle, new clothes and accessories, and you might even have to alter your daily grooming habits (being well groomed is a major attraction switch for women.) If you have doubts as to which direction to head in, solicit help from the resources around you. Look at fashion magazines, movies, talk to a stylist at a salon and see what she recommends, etc. Read up on “Peacocking” and decide just how far you feel comfortable in taking it.

2. Vibe – You not only need to look good, you need to feel good and believe in yourself. And just as importantly, you need to telegraph that vibe outward. Inner Game is a complicated subject and not one that I will go into here, but a simple truth that everyone aspiring to close beautiful women must fully believe is: “I AM THE PRIZE”.

We can emit our positive vibe out to all those around us without ever saying a word by using our body language.

• Walk tall and proud. Calculated but free-spirited.
• SMILE!!!
• Make eye contact and keep it.

We’ve barely scratched the surface of the topic of body language but those three simple tidbits will bring unbelievable changes in how people perceive you. Compare the sight of a man walking down the street with his hands in his pockets, looking numbly at the ground to a man walking tall, hands swinging gingerly at his sides, smiling, and looking at you in the face as you pass. Who would you feel more comfortable stopping and asking directions from?

3. Approach Anxiety – AA is a natural and hardwired mechanism within our bodies that will never go away completely. We can however lessen its effects with enough practice. Depending on your comfort level begin at one of the following levels:

1. Talk to every service-based person you encounter about things outside of that service. For example, when buying groceries make small talk about the weather with the cashier. When the receptionist asks how your day is going, go into some actual detail instead of just replying “good”. Getting comfortable with people, not just beautiful women, is the ultimate goal of conquering AA.
2. Talk to (open) complete male strangers. Since there is no fear of rejection or sexual interest, having conversations with other men should be easier and less fearful.
3. Now it’s time to open complete strangers of the opposite sex. Start opening random women with perfectly normal social questions like asking for the time or for directions.

By this point you should be comfortable with the idea that talking to a stranger is not a big deal and you will have found that most of the time it is a painless and often positive experience. But you may be thinking “OK, I have no fear about asking for the time but going up to a woman to seduce her is completely different, I can’t do that.”

The cure for this mindset is going direct: “Excuse me; I just had to come up and tell you that you are absolutely stunning.” After you’ve gone up to enough women and blatantly told them they were beautiful and shown them all of your cards from the start, opening indirect is going to feel just like asking for the time.

4. Book Smarts – There are so many books and guides out there that you might be overwhelmed by which method or guru to subscribe to first. I personally started with the Mystery Method and my game is based off of it so that’s what I recommend. It’s a quick and easy read that will give you a great introduction into the Venusian arts.

5. Personal Habits – Pick another aspect of your life to improve. It can be as simple or as hard as you make it, but the important thing is to change one thing that you know you could be doing better and actually do it. Start flossing your teeth, eat healthier, start working out, watch less TV, etc. Devoting yourself to positive things outside of the art of seduction will ultimately boost your overall vibe and state of mind as well.

Remember, this is a life-changing undertaking and one that will only come with a lot of hard work and dedication. Its effects are far reaching and will enrich your life in many ways outside of just being better with women.

All the best,

Renaissance.

This wasn’t your typical road trip however; we were roughing it for sure. I took two pairs of ripped up jeans, some old t-shirts, and a pair of dirty running shoes; all things that I wouldn’t mind losing or burning if they smelled too foul. But I knew all this going in and had come to terms with the fact that this was a nature trip and not some sort of traveling pick-up caravan. But pick-up seems to have lodged itself in my blood now, I can’t just turn it off or get away from the internal desire to meet a new and beautiful woman every time I see one.

Day 14, we pulled into the town of Banff, Alberta and I had a slight tingle in my eye, a manifestation of my anticipation and excitement; this was my one chance. We had been out in the middle of nowhere for the last two weeks, I hadn’t shaved since the start of the trip, and I stank like a mix of sweat and campfire smoke. We met up with a friend of mine who lives in Banff. I showered, cleaned up the lines of my beard, put on a t-shirt that I had purchased for $4 at a drugstore earlier that day and headed out.

My target was an Australian traveler and things were going great. After about 20 minutes I knew that I had built a large amount of attraction. My trouble started with the lock-in prop. I playfully stole her bracelet and exchanged it with the one on my arm. Now free to reengage her later, I got up and joined my friend at the billiards table. I was having such a good time at the table that I totally forgot about my target and lost track of time!

When I eventually did approach her I tried to pick up right where I left off. But I didn’t realize my mistake at the time, I had let too much time pass and all the attraction that I had built had dissipated. I tried to kino escalate without escalating emotionally, I didn’t rebuild that attraction and of course my kiss attempt fell short.

This is when so many guys feel the lowest of low. You go for a kiss, it doesn’t happen, and now you have no idea what to do. You can’t let blowouts ruin your night or your frame. It’s easier said than done, but like everything else, practice makes perfect. I teased her a bit, didn’t even acknowledge the failed kiss like it never happened, and then ejected on good terms a few minutes later.

I quickly opened up another set, my target was a cute German that knew my buddy and after talking to her for a few minutes we bounced to Subway since the bar was closing. It was now 2am and I couldn’t follow the standard playbook, logistically I didn’t have the time. I had to put things into overdrive:

1. Kino – a lot and often.

2. Neg – plenty to offset the amount of kino thus still conveying that I am the prize, not her.

3. Attraction Spike – Jealousy, one of the most powerful ones. The girl behind the counter was cute so I flirted with her for a few minutes while we waited for my friend’s sandwich. It doesn’t take much to hit most attraction switches, you don’t have to have another girl trying to rip your clothes off to run a successful jealousy plot line.

4. Isolate and Escalate – It was time to make my move so when we were separated from our friends who had already crossed the street on the way out of Subway I knew I wouldn’t have another chance. I went Caveman. Sometimes you can’t run a catchy kiss gambit, or wait for the stars to align, you just have to take charge and go for it. “You’re waaaay too cute…it’s kind of evil actually! Come here (as I pulled her in close and wrapped my arms around her), it’s strange I just can’t help myself from kissing you.” I grabbed her head with both of my hands as I gently turned her face upward. It was on. Moments later she pulled me into a cab and we were off.

So what to take away from this FR?

• Looking your best is important, but sometimes you just can’t. Don’t use an old pair of shoes or not having your lucky shirt as an excuse not to sarge. Do your best to appear well-groomed and if you telegraph the right frame it won’t matter what you’re wearing.
• Don’t be outcome dependent. I knew that this was my only night of going out on the whole trip but I didn’t let that control my frame. I wasn’t shooting off vibes of neediness and although I took this too far and ended up ruining my first set, it did pay dividends in the end.
• Anyone looking at my interactions all night probably only saw two things: me having fun with HBAussie and then me having fun with the people at the pool table. Chances are that no one even noticed me failing to kiss HBAussie, it probably just looked like two friends fooling around and laughing from a distance. I know my HBGerman saw me throughout the night as it was kind of a small bar and I realized later that my solid frame and high level of social proof factored highly in my eventual success with her.
• Tourists/travelers will have a much lower ASD. After all, they’re out on vacation too and wanting to have some fun where no one knows them.
• Think outside the box. A1, A2, A3, canned material, gambits, all that stuff is great. But realizing that I was in a different situation and not running the textbook MM is what made my night. If you want to be successful in anything then being able to adapt to different situations is a requirement. Start mixing your game up a bit and see what happens.

I spent the next day with HBGerman at a scenic lake and invested hours into building the comfort that I didn’t have time to the night before. Always leave her better than you found her, I never want a girl thinking that meeting me was a mistake. I felt good, confident, and accomplished as I drove into the sun and out of town later that day. A huge part of me wanted to stay another night with her but good road trips don’t slow down.

Thanks for reading everybody, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Renaissance, I like brunettes, sleeping in, and long walks on the beach.  I’m 25 years old, live in Phoenix, AZ, and think pinky swears are the best kino escalation tool ever. So now that we’re friends, lets have some fun on here!

-Renaissance