Find A Happy Medium & Beware Of The Dancing Monkey

November 22, 2009 by Renaissance
Filed under: Seduction Blogs, Seduction Tips

There is no doubt that the ability to offer value is one of the most powerful attraction spikes. In fact, 100% of what we do to attract a mate is a form of demonstrating or offering value.

One way that we often communicate value is by entertaining. Instant Value Demonstrations (IVDs) can be as good as gold, and the saying that laughter is the key to a woman’s heart couldn’t be more true. But can too much of a good thing be bad?

In everything we do in life, avoiding polarities and finding Goldilocks’ happy place in the middle is the ultimate goal. Not too hot, not too cold. You don’t want to be the nice guy who lets people walk all over him but you don’t want to be the bad guy/cocky asshole who brags about himself, needs constant attention, and abuses women. You don’t want to be too scared to go for the first kiss but you equally don’t want to come across as a horny predator. You want to be able to entertain women, but you don’t want to become an object for their entertainment.

To further underline the issue of polarity, consider the following:

There are three main areas to every pick up: Emotional, Physical, and Logistical.

Your goal is to escalate all three equally and effectively; ignore or overdo any of them and the entire interaction will crumble.

If you ignore Emotional progression then you’ll never make a connection with your target and she’ll never see you as anything more than a stranger.
If you ignore Physical escalation you’ll fall into the dreaded friend zone.
If you ignore the Logistical issues you’ll see her jump into a cab with her friends at the end of the night or find yourself stranded without a seduction location.

Likewise,

If you overdo Emotional stimulation of some kind then you’ll get trapped into that role. For example, if you spend all your time in deep comfort then you’ll be seen as her personal therapist.
If you overdo Physical escalation you’ll be the weird touchy creepy guy.
If you are constantly trying to figure out Logistical problems, suggesting bounces, putting together parties, and asking “how’d you get here?” then you’ll become the “party guy”. The one girls call to find out what’s going on, but not the one they hook up with once they get there.

As you can see, over or under doing anything in pick up can be costly. One of the most common forms of indulgence during the seduction process must surely be the Dancing Monkey.

IVDs are amazing, I use them whenever I can, and comedy is the main component of my personal style. However, these two tools (both are forms of entertainment) can easily backfire. I’ve personally made the mistake of playing too many games with a woman or telling too many funny stories, thus ignoring opportunities to physically escalate, qualify, or build comfort. I’ve been the Dancing Monkey before and trust me, it’s fun but it’s not productive.

When you become the Dancing Monkey you are no longer seen as a viable mate. Instead, you are there for her amusement, you are nothing more than personal entertainment to her.

One of the quickest ways to determine that you might be heading towards Monkeytown is if she says things like “do another one!”, “what other games do you know?”, “you have to show that trick to my friend!”, or if she introduces you to someone and then adds “he’s so funny!” These are clues that although you offered value, offering more of the same kind of value could be too much of a good thing.

So stop. Just like a magician never does the same trick twice, just like a comedian only tells a bit once: don’t let her control the interaction, don’t jump through her hoops. Transition into another form of value demonstration, or if the time is right, into another phase of the pick up. After being told to “do another one!” I’ve literally said: “I’m not a dancing monkey, you show me something! (Qualification).” Obviously, this doesn’t mean that you should never tell her another funny story or play another fun game with her; it just means that a break is necessary.

Remember, you’re there to offer value, and value comes in many flavors:

“Ahhh, this porridge is just right,” she said happily and she ate it all up.

Tags: Instant Value Demonstration, IVD, seduction, techniques