Opinion: “Bad Boy” Is A Myth?

September 7, 2009 by Michael
Filed under: Seduction Tips

Some of the opinions and hints underlying seduction have been repeated so often that we almost reflexively believe them, even though they may not truly be accurate. This is the case with the “bad boy” myth, a position so frequently held that many consider it “common knowledge”. A closer examination of the “bad boy” myth, however, reveals that it is far from true. A dissection of this often-repeated perspective gives us some great insight on how the seduction of women really operates.

You have undoubtedly heard it a thousand times: women like the bad boys. According to many, guys who tend to be self-centered jerks have more success with women than the so-called “good boys.” The analysis holds that women are somehow attracted to those who exude a sense of danger and who are traditionally masculine in their personality and behavior. These aggressive “alpha males,” so the story goes, are far more likely to have success with women because their dispositions are particularly appealing.

This belief, however, suffers from a fundamental misunderstanding of why these “bad boys” tend to have so much success with women. It is not their loutish behavior or cavalier attitude women find exciting and interesting. In fact, these character traits are widely abhorred by women. The “alpha male” behavior held up as something to model by some would-be seduction experts is not the reason for “bad boy” success. In fact, these men actually succeed in spite of their behaviors and personality—not because of them.

The reason the “bad boy” gets the girl so often is related to ancillary behavior associated with their mindset. Put simply, the so-called “bad boy” tends to be outgoing and somewhat aggressive. These men are not afraid to approach women or to make the first move. Their self-assuredness leads them to take risks many other men would not. “Bad boys” get the girls because they are more likely to be the only men approaching them in the first place.

If a woman had the opportunity to choose from the loutish brute and the nice gentleman as both approached her, she would undoubtedly choose the nice guy, not the jerk. There is nothing associated with the “bad boy” mentality that women find uniquely attractive. They merely end up with these people because other alternatives fail to present themselves. If more of the “nice guys” were sufficiently outgoing to approach women, the myth of the “bad boy” would be so laughable that no one would embrace it.

What does this teach us about seduction? It tells us that women are receptive to men who are willing to approach them and to express an interest. That is what has made so many otherwise reprehensible men successful with the ladies—their willingness to risk rejection and to “put themselves out there.”

By modeling this particular aspect of “bad boy” behavior, other men can have an equally successful time seducing attractive women. Regular guys simply need to come to terms with their shyness and lack of self-confidence. If they do this, they will soon find themselves more successful with women than even the baddest of the “bad boys.”

Those who have believed the myth and have acted upon the recommendations of others who accept it as the gospel truth of seduction are doing themselves and women a great disservice. By basically modeling the behavior of jerks, they may find themselves experiencing an increased level of seduction success over their former selves. However, they are still performing at a level far inferior to what they would be if they had simply focused their efforts on being more comfortable approaching women and had not adopted the other negatives of the “bad boy” angle.

If you have believed the “bad boy” story and have accepted it as a launching pad for your seduction efforts, it is time to rethink your strategy. It is perfectly okay to be a nice guy. In fact, women prefer a nicer man almost without exception. You don’t need to be a jerk to get the girls—you need only to be more extroverted and willing to approach the women in whom you have a strong interest. Leo Durocher said that “nice guys finish last.” He may have been right when it came to baseball, but he was way off base when it comes to women. Those who have combined being decent human beings with being willing to approach women can definitely vouch for that.

NOTE – This article in its entirety is attributed to SeductionGirl.com. The source URL is here. I am interested to hear whether readers believe that the “bad boy” phenomenon is a myth or not.

Tags: approach anxiety, flirting, inner game, seduction, techniques